6/2/09 – KAMPALA, UGANDA

Today was such an awkward day! I don’t know even know where to think about “processing” it accurately or what is most important to glean from it. Topic, on the other hand, is easy. We had just one mission from breakfast past dinner: St. Lawrence. We met at the university where we talked with students who were there because they wanted to be. School was out for break and they were recruits brought in to talk to us. Prop to the college kids for coming. I actually found the dialogue with them to be enjoyable conversation. We’ve done a lot of talking to people in the last few days. We want information from them, the purpose is to learn and glean – which is good but this might be the first group just as interested in us as we were in them. It was dialogue rather than lecture. Some of the students were a little, hmm, interesting? (I want to say “creepy” but that might be a little harsh) as the day wore on but, in general, it was cool to spend time with the group. Lunch at Horizons [the first of five secondary schools] was cool too because I got a chance to chat with a couple teen girls who reminded me a little of the teen girls in the states. Spunky with ambition and dedication. [In the states, teen girls are my favorite.] But, in talking to them and realized the obvious...despite the clear gender separation, being in Kampala – Uganda – doesn’t mean girls don’t have dreams. They both [the girls] wanted to something about these dreams but also believed it wasn’t a possibility. I and the other girls from our team sitting near by encouraged both girls to pursue them anyway – to get as far as they could before thinking they had to give up.

After lunch, however, the show got old fast. I like meeting with the students but I hated being put on display – I couldn’t think of an equivalent in the United States and it made me uncomfortable. I came to resent the Mzungu parade. I was even more comfortable to have many, but three specific girls, swarm me asking for e-mail addresses and phone numbers They were asking question about applications to my university and how much it cost and how many I could send there/support to bring over. “Whoa, wait, what?” I was so confused unless I was somehow the impression they had a ticket to freedom. Much more uncomfortable than being an involuntary celebrity was being the representation of fake home. In Jinja the hope is simple and pure. Kampala shows something much more westernized. Their hope was in things much more complex, abstract, and lacking the substance of merit. Either place (Jinja or Kampala) I am unqualified to be their saviour. The hardest is realizing both may have caused me to leave that impression.

Aside from the experience, some of the information was valuable. Or, at bare minimum, interesting. Realizing state school is more expensive and prestigious than private. At least within the university although we then went to five affiliated secondary schools where the children seemed to be of privilege. They had fresh manicured lawns, pressed uniforms, and beautiful buildings. A difference of night and day from Mengo Youth Development in the slums. The stark contrast between the two is almost revolting. There is a contrast in the US for sure, but it is hard to see THAT severe of a difference. Maybe I’ve just grown up in too many small towns where the difference is negligible. Either way, how can you justify the difference?

Also, time 977, more proof that everyone wants to be an American. The best part? They don’t even really know why. Try to explain the U.S. isn’t perfect and we have many problems that make many citizens very sad that we want to see fixed was impossible. Staring into their eyes it was like telling an ant that it’s not that cool to fly. For a people who have spent their entire lives on the ground, explaining air pollution didn’t make a bit of a difference. It is equally difficult to explain the intense beauty and good we’ve seen, the parts we love about Uganda. Your government helps pay for health care! They are doing a wonderful job at protecting some natural resources! Your lack of technology, in many ways, has provided for a creativity and an ingenuity or imagination American kids have long since forgotten...if they ever once learned. How do you tell a person who dream of going to school and living in America where “everything is wonderful and people are happy” that some days I would much rather be a Ugandan?