5/24/09 – JINJA, UGANDA

So, admittedly, I still want to be wring about my Saturday – not that all of it is completely applicable to “Uganda”. I’ve included the existing, however, because they’ve been beautiful pieces of my Ugandan experience. But Sunday means eventually I need to start journaling about the things I’ve learned today...

If I haven’t had a cultural wake-up call yet, I certainly did at church this morning! I watched in wonder as the service began and was enthralled by way in which different people had found a unique way to worship the same God. Shivers went down my spine as they began to sing. I had no idea what they were saying but I was still allowed to participate in the worship. But then, then we sat down. And I lost them. I had no idea what was going on. I couldn’t hear what they were saying in English or Lugandan and the translation itself was throwing me through a loop. And it was so long. I hated it. And I hated that I hated it. I wanted to love this church service but the wonder was shot as another small child climbed on my lap, did acrobatics on the bench next to me, and played with my scar (they were fascinated...running their finger back and forth on my neck). I had to decide that it was okay not to love everything. Different wasn’t wrong – that I knew and expected. Today was the first lesson in “different doesn’t also doesn’t always mean better”. I was glad, however, when it transitioned to the message – which at least I could follow. Surrender. She talked about surrender. (It reminded me a lot of my own journey with “Ultimate Surrender” that I recorded in “Glimpse” a year ago.) Anika, would you be willing to give up everything if it was asked of you? It was on my mind a lot today...including what would be asked of me for Uganda. It was interesting how the conversation seemed to continue at Kate and Peter’s tonight. I found some of my answers both refreshing and troubling. I was “afraid” I would get to Uganda and feel called to missions. I am both relieved and a little disappointed to realize, rather clearly, that I am not. The answer is “no”. But it leaves me with the “now what?” Where do I go from here? How does my life look different after spending almost a week in Uganda (with two more to go)? What do I do? What is God calling me to? And will I be willing to give him everything?